Love & Relationships: A Single Woman's Perspective

Being in my 50’s I have to accept some truths though. My type of woman does not have to change, but she might not find me attractive. No, I don't have to settle, but I have to accept that I might be single for a while longer. Thankfully, I’m not worried about stamina, or being able to be aroused because it would definitely be her mind that grabs my attention. I’m not easily impressed, but if and when I am, everything else follows.

In my younger years, I made plenty of mistakes being lured by aesthetics, ignoring the intellect until my last partner. She was smart, wise, and witty. She drove me nuts at times but looking back, playing brain teasers, watching old television series, and cooking dinner were moments I treasured. Don’t get me wrong, we are way past that life and are very good friends. I just know that’s the kind of relationship I will wait for. I also want a partner who is open to having children or who has them. Does that mean I want to raise a teeneager at the moment with her? Maybe. I know adolescence is a tough time for children and their parents. It would have ot be a uniquely favorable connection where I don’t interfere with their time and bonding and I’m not seen as competition for her affection.

I think that fact that I have waited so long, I’ve been able to work through my nuisances and tactics of pushing women away before they pushed me away. In other words, I went back to my attachment issues and dissected why I liked women who were nurturing, or who were so damaged I needed to fix them. Now, I see that nurturing is one thing because I can provide that too, but I can’t or don’t want a damaged woman to rebuild. I want her to be sure of herself and accept that bad things can happen, but you can bounce back and be loved fully and the past will not be held against her. Her confidence in herself and abilities but not cockiness will definitely pull me in.

I’m not ging on Tinder or any App to find love. I’m holding out for the old fashioned woman meets woman—connects, falls in love, and lives happily ever after. That’s my new vibration: love, joy, and an abundance of all the good stuff. Who’s with me? What are your hopes in finding your other whole, whether it be a woman or a man.