December 8, 2023
Letter from the Editor
Having recently experienced devastation, hurt, and gut-wrenching pain from women whom I mistakenly put my trust in some capacity, whether that be big or small, I was forced to reevaluate what it means to have sisters and love your sisters. I had to examine myself and accept responsibility for my expectations of others. I had to acknowledge that what occurred could only happen because I allowed the wrong women access, giving them a part of my story that they did not deserve to hear or experience. But I assure you, at the time, their was a deep connection then they changed their mind about me. They had not earned that access, nor should that have to be the expectation. In my honest attempt to create an amicable association, I sacrificed myself. The lesson was painfully learned. In hindsight, although the experience was rough, through the pain, I met other like-minded women whom I have created and forged a connection with. I understand that given the circumstances and being presented with a barrage of deceitful information, they did what they had to do in their respective positions.
Sisters—blood, water—no matter how we have gained them
let us be thankful for them being part of our journey. Because I will tell you, it isn’t always pretty, but if you challenge yourself not to quit the relationship, the results are beautiful. Seeing them blossom into amazing mothers, wives, and pillars in the community is joyful. My biological sisters, all six of them, are unique, beautiful women. They each have a distinct personality. I have love and admiration for each of them, including the one I have not seen since she aged out of the foster care system at age 18, and that loss cannot be estimated. It is infinity for me. My sisters were my first friends, enemies, and pains in my ass. And I am sure they can tell some stories about me that will be similar.
I have not been the best sister, nor have I been an ideal friend for women who I felt were sisters. Trauma is funny that way, but certainly no excuse. Many of them can tell you that at the start of our friendships, I was consistently an ass. Knowing how to connect with an outsider you bonded with was a task! I ran and ended the friendships over silly things because I had no handle on the sexual abuse that I suffered by several older women growing up. Trusting them and believing they were not a threat to me sexually and physically was difficult. It was easier to push them away. Find a reason why we could not be friends. Fortunately, learning to understand how trauma was affecting those relationships, I was courageous enough to go back and mend those bonds. Apologize. I do not have pictures of all of them to share. And I will not drop names because those women know that, although I am still working on hugs, they are part of my sisterhood for life. The connection will always remain.
