Grandmother of The Iconic House of Xtravaganza
I met Amani as an impressionable youth, spending countless hours with her younger sister musing over life, love, and unexpected childhood tragedies. It was a church that indeed connected all of us. Our faith in God. Hearing her sing the roof off Give Us This Day in 1985 during the Young Adult Choir, winter concert, at IS 33 in Brooklyn, New York has always been one of my most memorable experiences. Her angelic stage presence to open the concert is unforgettable. But besides that, watching her walk in her truth, and be unapologetically herself was something I always admired. I knew she was special. Her comedic one-liners in perfect timing were a delight. I also felt like she had this wisdom and gravitational pull---to know her was to love her. She came to mind when I created this digital magazine journey for women. I am delighted that she decided to chat with me about sisterhood. My sister, my friend, my family, Ms. Amani "Coko" Xtravaganza:
One sister encourages another. It is being honest with each other even when it hurts. You are supporting your sister through the good and the bad and building each other up, passing on knowledge and opportunities to help your sisters grow and prosper.
My mother. As I grew up, I watched her help aunts and sister friends, through many tough times in life. She also gave the young women a safe space to grow up in, being honest and real telling them what they needed to hear rather than what they wanted to hear. She was a nurturer by nature. Always there never to judge, sometimes to feed them and give unconditional love. I think that's where I got it from.
It took me a long time to find my tribe. I grew up surrounded by love and prayer. I was raised in the church-- my whole family. so, that’s what I knew. My blood family and my church family were the same. We all sang together and hung out together. The love was real. I loved singing at church. My whole family did. My life was centered around the church. However, as I got older and started to evolve and discover who I was, it became abundantly clear that my evolution and my church tribe could not coexist. So, when I found my new tribe, I felt something that was missing inside of me. My world, my creativity, and my being fully accepted were found. I BECAME AN XTRAVAGANZA!
It has its challenges. You are dealing with so many different personalities and energies. Some big egos, a lot of hidden trauma and pain. Lost kindred spirits who are looking for love and acceptance and a place where it was safe to be who they wanted to be. And yes, I would call it a sisterhood, I have my sisters my brothers/sisters my daughter’s nieces, etc...
Loyalty, encouragement, unconditional love, recognition, and RESPECT!
We are a family through the good the bad and the ugly. Our unity Is our strength. It always has been.
My journey on how I came to love this family. So much talent and courage. They inspired me and made me want to protect them-- my family, and at all costs. It's an honor for me to be the grandmother of the Iconic House of Xtravaganza. I was made the grandmother by the iconic grandfather, Hector Xtravaganza. And I will nurture and protect this legacy with all that I have.
We stormed Balls, Clubs, and Beaches always together--- we were a force! But my fondest memories are of how we would hang out in the house together cooking laughing, sleeping, arguing and just being together.
I am proud of The Legacy that I can be a part of. The House of Xtravaganza has left a mark on the world in Ballroom and beyond. My kids and Grandkids Brothers and Sisters are some Incredibly Talented and Beautiful Individuals--- and when we come together, it's like a force of nature--- pure fabulous, energy, and XTRAVAGANZA POWER!
Build each other up, support one another, and love all your sisters. As I tell my house, our unity Is our strength and in sisterhood as well!
