"SURPRISE"

As we continue to discuss the importance of self-care and how it promotes a wellness attitude towards oneself, author Cheekz, shares her interpretation of self-love in her poem written in 2004, entitled SURPRISE. Discussing her poem she shared with me, “SURPRISE isn’t romantic. It’s about finally realizing it’s time to love myself.” For her presentation, she chose an image that also represents the historical context of women choosing spirituality as a form of self-care.

Submitted by CHEEKZ

December 8, 2023

Have I forgotten
how to do this
love relationship thing?

Have I forgotten
how it feels
for “ME” to be truly loved?

Have I forgotten
what longing craves for?

Have I forgotten
what being empty in my aloneness
feels like?

I remember loving
being in love
in a loving relationship,

And

I remember giving up me

So that I could be loved by you

And

I remember loving you
For the both of us,

And

I remember craving so long
I forgot what I wanted,

And

I remember being so alonenessly lonely
myself and I was too much company for me,

No, I haven’t forgotten what I remember
This one “ME” was all I had to give
And I gave,

And now everybody wants more than I have,
I haven’t forgotten

And

Yes,
I remember when everybody
was more important than me
So
Why can’t I spend all my money on me?
I did on you,
So
Why can’t I be out with my friends?
You’re just OUT.
So
Why should I allow you to make my time your time
because you don’t have anything else to do?
So
Why should I believe anything you say
after you admitted lying to me?
So
Why can’t you understand
just because you want what you want
and you think you’ve got this “love relationship”
down to a science
I’m going to be your experiment?

I haven’t forgotten what I remember,
And
being SAFE
instead of SORRY
feels REALLY GOOD
right about now.