Acacia Moore Interview with
Dacia Moore, LPC
08 June 2024
"Take time to slow down and savor simple moments."
Dacia Moore, LPC is a Christian mother of two adult children and grandchildren. She has been in counseling for 20 years, and currently serves as an executive director recruiter for large nonprofits with Moran & Co. She is the self-published author of Why Are So Many Students So Angry?
What is self-care?
Self-care is taking care of yourself which includes having good boundaries, so you don’t wear yourself out. Healthy friendships and relationships mean knowing when things are unhealthy and knowing yourself. This consists of a level of self-awareness to know what your triggers are, what your propensities are – know what trips you up and what your struggles are because we all struggle with something. For example, if you know you struggle with low self-esteem you can monitor your time spent on social media where it looks like everyone is doing better than you. What self-care is not, is it is not selfishness and that’s what it has turned into: selfishness. I can’t go to work today because I need self-care. Please use self-care to be selfish and self-centered.
How do we know when we are practicing healthy self-care and not being self-centered?
We have swung the pendulum to a self-centered focused attitude as opposed to a community-focused approach and social media has played a large part in that. It’s turned into if I’m uncomfortable, or if I have to work hard for something then it’s wrong. The problem is we are using self-care as an excuse to give up easily: I can’t be in a difficult situation too long. People bail on hard situations but if they had stuck it out, they would have turned out well for them. Knowing when you are practicing healthy self-care and not being self-centered is difficult to determine because it’s so individualized. People are spoiled and entitled. They think they are entitled to happiness. That because a situation may be hard they need to take care of themselves and get out of it. That’s the danger of going overboard with self-care.
Are there questions that I can ask to be able to determine if I am being selfish or if this is truly a situation where self-care is needed?
When situations become too intense, last too long, or happen too often. Journaling is a way to take inventory. Being able to go back and determine if a particular situation is affecting my mental health or if I’m just having a bad day, week, or season. I have a client who just got divorced, so she’s going to go through a season, which is longer than a day or a week. Self-care is about knowing when to get help from a professional when you’re stuck. That could be stuck financially, spiritually, mentally, or physically.
What are some examples of self-care that women don’t generally think of?
The examples I’m going to give aren’t sexy, but they are foundational. Financial self-care – saving your money, managing your money, tracking your expenses, and living within your means, especially for women with children. There is always an emergency around the corner and managing your money well can help quite a bit. Nutritional self-care- meal prepping so that it makes it easier for you to provide yourself and your family with good, healthy meals during the week because you know you’re going to be tired. Lastly, being your own best friend. Our internal self-talk is usually very biased and for women of color usually very critical. We have to get out of the habit of criticizing ourselves by challenging our self-talk and being more encouraging to ourselves. Having compassion with ourselves by celebrating wins we may consider small.
How can I make time for self-care when my kids are so busy during the summer months?
Well first thing we need to remember is that it is okay to let kids be bored. Every second of every day does not need to be filled with an activity. And secondly, as women, we have to schedule it. A lot of times the burden of the family falls on us, so we must schedule “margin time”. Margin time is 5-15 minutes scheduled throughout the day for you to take care of yourself. A lot of times women don’t take care of themselves because they think they must go have a spa day with the girls or go out of town. That may not be realistic for some people, so taking 5-15 minutes throughout the day to sit and do nothing, catch the sunrise or sunset, or paint your nails is a way to make sure that every day you do something for you.
I’m planning a vacation with my family, but then I need a vacation from the vacation. How can this be prevented?
Well, I think the first step is to acknowledge that family vacations are stressful and a lot of times not relaxing for the adults. So, a couple of things you can do is to schedule activities on your vacation so that you’re not rushing around and last minute trying to plan things which causes more stress. Another option is to shorten your family vacation to allow a day or two to wind down with your spouse or by yourself. If you shorten your 5-day vacation to 3, to have a quick overnight getaway with your hubby, how will the kids ever know?
Is there anything else you want to tell us about summer self-care?
Take time to slow down and savor simple moments. Resist the urge to be productive and busy all of the time. Manage time on devices, get outside, and enjoy nature.
How can people find you?
I am on Facebook and YouTube as Dacia Moore, or my website secondwindcc.com