J. Monique Gambles, LMFT
Women and Heart Disease: Let’s Numbers Talk
"I felt like I had loose ends everywhere."
The first time I felt my chest tighten, I was leaning over the side of the bed, trying to get something from Tracker, my beloved Basset Hound. He stopped mid-way through his shenanigans and watched me slowly retreat and try and focus on my breathing. Stay calm, I whispered gently to myself as the tiny thought of me having a heart attack was pulled to the back of my mind. Was I in denial? Probably. Or maybe it was my faith, believing there was no way God would carry me this far since August to let me die or experience a medical emergency such as a heart attack. I refused to think of it further.
A few days later, it happened again while in my office. Again, I breathed slowly and noticed that my chest felt heavy, and it would stay that way for the next two weeks. During a trip to pick up groceries, as I carried bags from my truck to the freezer chest and into the house, I felt the strain in my chest, and this time, I was afraid. I decided not to share this information with my family and to reduce my activity by lying in bed. I was noticeably tired. Fatigued. In about a week, I would see my PCP at the Veterans Affairs Hospital. I would share with her the incidents.
I sent her a secure message the day before my appointment. I shared with her the last two experiences. At my appointment, it took some convincing. She is my new PCP; my last one was promoted to a fancy position that had her overseeing other doctors. She was much better at avoiding the traps of implicit bias and was thorough.
So, as my new doctor checked off her list, I pushed back, asking her to check not only the change in my digestive tract but the weird pain in my chest that appeared to get worse the more I exerted myself. She shared that my cholesterol was high and concerning, but my blood pressure was normal. But aside from medication and a brief mention of a diet change, she didn’t seem worried.
I wanted proof that I was okay. Perhaps it wasn’t my heart. EKG. Before I could request one, she said I should get one before heading home. They’re quick. The results showed up in real-time, and I was anticipating an answer that would send me back home and assure me of good heart health. I was instructed to bring her the results. The EKG was quick, and the male tech was gentle and kind. He handed me the printout. I didn’t bother looking at it until I was outside the examination room. Nonspecific T–Wave abnormality. Abnormal ECG. Abnormal???
The Dallas VA is spacious and filled with aging vets, homeless vets, working vets, young vets, and hundreds of caretakers. It was tranquil as I walked from one end of the hospital to the other. I was still tired. I googled the terms to understand what the results meant. Worst case scenario, I had a heart attack. I refused that. However, I was deeply concerned about the possibility of having a blockage in my arteries or being diagnosed with heart disease. Having a diagnosis of chronic PTSD and MDD and knowing that my biological great-grandmother died young from heart disease caused some panic.
My will. I needed to find it. I felt like I had loose ends everywhere. I told my best friend and a very dear friend and instructed them explicitly if anything was wrong. Like the good friends they were, they did not add any more stress or fear. They were optimistic. As for me, worrying and stress—forget it—seemed like the initial results set off a stream of worry, more anxiety, and sleepless nights as I waited for the VA to call me to schedule a stress test to examine my heart during rest and exertion. Aside from the nurse administering my IV and sharing pacemaker stories, I was surprisingly calm. The exertion test made my head feel like someone was playing ping pong up there and caused me to slur my speech a little as I responded to their questions. My legs felt so weak I forgot they were there.
Between the initial exam and 36 hours after the stress test, I decided to eliminate stressful people and situations from life. We get one life. We will encounter people and situations that will test our resolve or resiliency. Some of those fights don’t deserve attention. For the ones that do, examine all the parts. Sometimes, part of the journey is about learning about us. Who shows up to teach us lessons, share blessings, or be a mirror into our souls. Well, they are merely characters in our story. Some will be static—no change while others are dynamic, creating not just change but a ripple effect of humongous growth and self-awareness.
On February 2nd, women across America wore red for heart health awareness. Heart disease is the number one killer of women. Although numbers have decreased overall, women of color are impacted even more. I don’t regret my approach or reaction to this experience. My heart may have been broken last year, but this year, 2024, my heart health and cholesterol levels need improvement just like I do; the results found no blockage, and my heart responded very well during the stress test.