Sometimes, we block our blessings because of how we think and believe—self-sabotage. We can block our blessings because we stay connected to individuals who side-sabotage our paths and success. We talk ourselves out of what we want because of negative thought patterns and a lack of belief in our abilities. We can’t blame anyone.  Ignoring the signs that others are sabotaging us is our fault as well.

Doubt can be confusing. When we doubt ourselves, it should be brief and in passing. Or used as motivation. When others doubt us, it should be glaring, loud, considered heavily, used as motivation, and a warning that this individual should have limited access to your goals, dreams, and you.

1.        Your circle doubts your abilities.

2.        Criticism isn’t constructive but harsh and hurtful.

3.        You have been given an offensive nickname.

4.        Reciprocity is missing.

5.        Ideas presented are not taken seriously, or only one person in the group can share them and be deemed the unspoken leader. (Adult groups don’t have a leader. It’s an equitable circle of leaders.)

6.        Finances, money, competition, and comparison showcases jealousy, envy, or both.

7.        You don’t feel comfortable or like yourself when in their presence.

 

Redefining Your Circle:

·      Start with yourself.

·      Love your parts, embrace your story, and be open to change.

·      Revisit your boundaries and adjust by knowing your limits.

·      Be firm on how you WILL be treated.

·      Jokes about you that hurt, are not okay. Voice your concern.

·      It’s levels to this: who has access and to what? Demote and promote!

·     Before you expect others to come into your world, work through negative thought patterns. Everyone isn’t lying, or are they? Keep it real with yourself.

·      Explore other. Sometimes a circle of everyone doing the same thing and having the same

    things like spouses or children can falsely provide comfort. Your other needs should be met too. Don’t lie to yourself about who should be in your circle. You may need a single friend or a married one. Or someone who is the opposite from you, but they make you feel seen, or included. Keep that person around. Make room.

·      Some of us are missing out on new connections because of old ways of thinking.

·      If your thinking is stinking, shift to what you would prefer. Notice how you feel when you get out of the stank zone.

·      If your circle changes, make sure you adjust too. Don’t bring old drama, or poor habits into your new circle. It defeats the purpose of doing this.